Billy Porter is opening up about his health journey.
The “Pose” star, 51, revealed to The Hollywood Reporter that he is HIV-positive, and has been hiding his condition for 14 years.
“I was the generation that was supposed to know better, and it happened anyway. It was 2007, the worst year of my life. I was on the precipice of obscurity for about a decade or so, but 2007 was the worst of it. By February, I had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. By March, I signed bankruptcy papers. And by June, I was diagnosed HIV-positive,” he said.
Billy revealed that those close to him were aware of his diagnosis, except for his mother. “For a long time, everybody who needed to know, knew — except for my mother,” he said. “I was trying to have a life and a career, and I wasn’t certain I could if the wrong people knew. It would just be another way for people to discriminate against me in an already discriminatory profession. So I tried to think about it as little as I could. I tried to block it out.”
However, Billy recently decided to tell his mom, and says she was supportive of him. “…I woke up on the last day of [shooting] Pose; I was writing in my gratitude journal and my mama popped into my head. I was like, ‘Let me just call her.’ Not two minutes into the conversation, she’s like, ‘What’s wrong?’ I said, ‘Nothing.’ She’s like, ‘Son, please tell me what’s wrong,’” he recalled.
“So I ripped the Band-Aid off and I told her. She said, ‘You’ve been carrying this around for 14 years? Don’t ever do this again. I’m your mother, I love you no matter what. And I know I didn’t understand how to do that early on, but it’s been decades now.’ And it’s all true. It’s my own shame. Years of trauma makes a human being skittish,” Billy added. “But the truth shall set you free. I feel my heart releasing. It had felt like a hand was holding my heart clenched for years — for years — and it’s all gone.”
The Tony winner said he understands some may view him differently because of his diagnosis, but he isn’t letting that hold him back. “There’s no more stigma — let’s be done with that. It’s time. I’ve been living it and being in the shame of it for long enough. And I’m sure this will follow me,” he said. “I’m sure this is going to be the first thing everybody says, “HIV-positive blah, blah, blah.” OK. Whatever. It’s not the only thing I am. I’m so much more than that diagnosis. And if you don’t want to work with me because of my status, you’re not worthy of me.”
Billy went on to tell the cast and crew of “Pose” about his HIV status, calling it the “responsible road” to tell the truth.
“The truth is the healing. And I hope this frees me. I hope this frees me so that I can experience real, unadulterated joy, so that I can experience peace, so that I can experience intimacy, so that I can have sex without shame. This is for me. I’m doing this for me,” he said.
Billy concluded by saying he’s not afraid of anything anymore, adding, “I have too much s**t to do, and I don’t have any fear about it anymore. I told my mother — that was the hurdle for me. I don’t care what anyone has to say. You’re either with me or simply move out of the way.”
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